Nocturnal Admissions
by theoofoof
Summary: Olivia and Rafael are forced to share a bed on a work trip...


'Just go to sleep,' Olivia silently willed herself, repeating the phrase over and over like a mantra to clear her mind. She focused on breathing deeply, but instead of her own breath, her attention was fixated on the deep, rhythmic breathing of her bedmate. The proximity of his body coupled with the unique smell of him so close to her was only fuelling her total awareness of him, making her crazy and staving off sleep. 'Please, just go to sleep,' she again pleaded with herself, pressing her flushed cheek fitfully into a cooler spot of the pillow. She'd certainly had no trouble drifting off earlier, which is exactly how they ended up in the predicament they were in now.

They'd travelled to Boston as part of their latest investigation. Accusations of historical child-abuse had been made against a summer camp counsellor. One of their alleged victims was currently doing a five-year bid in MCI-Concord but had come forward after the case hit the headlines. Fin was on leave and Rollins was out sick, so that left her or Carisi to accompany Barba to interview their victim. Rafael had begged her not to make him suffer through a flight with Carisi asking a string of inane legal questions. However short it might be.

After ensuring that Lucy was happy to watch Noah for a few extra hours than normal, she'd given in and agreed to fly out with him. Their complainant's story was consistent with those of other victims, including details which hadn't been released to the press. All things considered, their visit to the prison was a successful one. They even managed to enjoy a relaxing dinner together afterwards. It was only when they reached the airport that things started to go downhill.

Neither of them had expected the storm that had swept in, causing severe delays and flight cancellations. Checking the weather, they decided – mostly due to Olivia's insistence that she get home to her son – to rent a car and drive back to New York. By the time they had negotiated the crowds and queues at the rental desk, it was already past 10:30 pm, but with late hour neither expected to hit much traffic so decided to press on with their plan, with Rafael driving the first leg of the journey.

They should have stayed in Boston. Waited at the airport for a flight, or booked into one of the hotels there, but hindsight was a wonderful thing…

* * *

 _The warm forced air from the heater combined with the whining of the windshield wipers and a lack of sleep was causing her head to nod and jerk in an attempt to stay awake. Rafael fiddled with the radio but failed to get anything but static and the occasional strains of Daytripper forcing its way through the white noise._

 _She must have lost her battle against sleep because she startled awake when the car door slammed shut. Olivia looked around. The street was bare save for the small building they were parked in front of. A motel. The reddish glow from the motel's sign illuminated the car. She looked at her watch, 1:05 am. She wondered why they had stopped. Soon, the door opened, and Rafael got back in the car, wet from the rain that was still lashing down._

 _"_ _Where are we?" she asked, stretching her back and neck, hoping that Rafael could provide some answers to the myriad of questions she had running through her head._

 _"_ _Uh… Longmeadow. It's just north of Hartford," Rafael said sheepishly. "There were a few, uh, detours. And the road we now need to take is closed due to flash flooding. Looks like the forecast was wrong. The storm is following us."_

 _"_ _So, we're staying here?" she asked. She was too tired to argue about his appalling sense of direction, that she should have driven first, or the fact they should probably have just stayed in Boston._

 _"_ _Well, uh, that's the thing," Rafael began, glancing at her. "There's only one room left, and there aren't any other motels around. We could try an alternative route but…"_

 _"_ _Let's just stay here," she said, wearily._

 _"_ _Are you sure?" he asked._

 _"_ _Yeah," she shrugged, "It's already past one am and the weather will make the roads pretty dicey..."_

 _The room was a standard motel room; bed, wardrobe, small table, TV. But it was clean and dry. And safer than continuing on the road during the storm. Now that she was in the room, and could see the size of the bed – smaller than hers at home, her previous confidence at sharing a room with Rafael began to wane._

 _"_ _I'm just going to go…" she gestured aimlessly towards the back of the room, where there was a door that she assumed was the bathroom._

 _Rafael nodded, not making eye contact. "Yeah, okay."_

 _In the bathroom, Olivia used the toilet and then removed her make up with the baby-wipes she kept in her purse for any sticky-finger situations Noah got himself into. She ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to untangle any knots. They'd have to find a store in the morning, she thought to herself as she regarded herself in the mirror, just for the essentials. Toothbrushes. A razor for him. Clean underwear._

 _When she opened the bathroom door and re-entered the bedroom, she found Rafael lying on the floor beside the bed, a pillow behind his head and an extra blanket beneath him._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" she asked, a hint of amusement in her voice. Her time in the bathroom had calmed her nerves and reminded her just how tired she was. She just wanted to get in bed, turn out the lights and go to sleep._

 _He shifted nervously. "Well, there's no cot, no couch, only one bed…" He gave her a half-smile, "and my abuelita would come back to haunt me if I made you sleep on the floor."_

 _She shook her head. "Don't be ridiculous. You sleep there, and I'll have to put up with you complaining about your aching muscles all the way back to New York."_

 _"_ _Liv…" He was gearing up to argue; she'd seen that look in his eye in the courtroom many times, so she cut him off before he could even start._

 _"_ _Neither of is sleeping on the floor," she told him firmly. "It's a bed made for two people, Rafa. We can share."_

* * *

It seemed like a sensible suggestion at the time. They were adults after all. But while he appeared to be losing no sleep over their arrangement, she was experiencing a highly inappropriate and severely intense case of lust-induced insomnia and was still lying awake an hour later.

To make matters worse, Olivia had been right about her initial assessment of the size of the bed; it was a double, not a queen. Mere inches separated their bodies. And, having planned on making it to Boston and back in a day, neither had brought overnight bags. So, not only was she lying in bed next to Rafael Barba, but they weren't wearing much either! That had been her idea too. She clearly remembered telling him to stop being so ridiculous when he tried to get into bed in his dress shirt and trousers because she had no intention of sleeping in her clothes. So, he was down to his shorts and undershirt. She'd worn a loose camisole under her outfit that day, so while he had been in the bathroom, she had stripped down to that and her panties, gotten into bed and pulled the covers high up around her.

She heard thunder roll somewhere in the distance and, suddenly, the mattress beside her shifted and Olivia felt an arm drape over her and a nose nuzzle into her hair. Rafael had rolled behind her and was now spooning against her.

Olivia knew she should wake him, or at least try to manoeuvre him back to his own side of the bed, but it felt so good. The heat of him, his chest pressed against her back, his breath on her neck. She struggled to control her breathing, not wanting him to think that he woke her. That way they could pretend that it didn't happen. Pretend that he definitely didn't cuddle up against her in his sleep and she definitely did not enjoy every second of it. That way they could preserve both their dignity and professional relationship.

It had been a while since Olivia had shared a bed with another man. She'd forgotten how nice it felt to spoon like this. How well two bodies fit together. His arm shifted, and Olivia whimpered as she felt his skin brush hers where her camisole had ridden up her stomach. Goosebumps ran across her skin. She'd forgotten that too, how good it felt to feel bare skin on bare skin. She flushed with desire and her nipples hardened, aching to be touched. She arched her back causing the satin of her camisole to move across them lightly. The thrill sent her pulse pounding between her legs.

Okay, now she had to stop this before it went any further. She allowed herself two more minutes to enjoy the delicious feeling of his closeness but then, just when she was about to turn over and nudge him back to his own side of the bed – or what there was of it anyway – his knees slid forward, and he dragged her hips back into the bend of his.

She was drenched in his heat now from her neck to her feet. Blanketed in him. She was enjoying the sensation so much that it took her a minute to realise that he wasn't completely at rest. He may have been asleep, but there was one part of his body that was most definitely alert.

Olivia froze, suddenly terrified that he was awake – that he had been awake all along and his movements had been conscious decisions. She listened to his breathing; sonorous, careless breaths. He was definitely asleep.

And erect.

Olivia was old enough and experienced enough to know that men got erections in their sleep; she'd had lovers before. But this was different. This was Rafael. Her colleague. Her friend. Her _best_ friend. And her discovery had turned their slow, warm, sensual snuggles into something overtly sexual. She felt heat pool in her centre and she exhaled slowly, barely controlling the air that escaped her.

If she was honest with herself, it was something she had thought about. Rafael was not unattractive, and she could admit to admiring the way his tailored suits fit certain areas of his body, or the defined muscles of his biceps when he rolled up his sleeves and relaxed at the end of the day. It wasn't just a physical attraction though. Somewhere in the five years they'd been working together, she had fallen for him. She hadn't realised it at first, she'd been with Cassidy and dealing with the aftermath of everything with Lewis. After her relationship with Brian ended she began to recognise the signs, but Rafael didn't seem interested – he never made a move anyway – so she tried to forget him. Then Tucker had come along; he'd paid her some attention when Rafael hadn't, and she'd been flattered. It was only when Rafael found out – when she saw the look in his eyes – did she realise she may have been wrong. It was jealousy; there was no denying that. Their friendship took a hit that day and it took a long time for it to recover.

Now though, things were back to normal and she was single once again. But neither of them had acted on the feelings that they clearly held for each other. She didn't know for sure why he was reticent but suspected that his reasons were similar to hers. Fear of rejection, of losing a friend, of the professional ramifications.

Lying here, wrapped in his arms, feeling his obvious arousal Olivia wondered why they'd been holding back. She shifted a little then. She couldn't help it. She'd been lying unnaturally still for over ten minutes and she needed to move. She only wiggled a little, but its effect was big. Very big.

At the new pressure against his erection, Rafael shuddered. His hand gripped Olivia's waist tightly and pulled her back into him, pressing his hips hard against her. Rafael's arm flexed again as he urged their bodies together once more. And then again. And again, until he'd established a rhythm. She couldn't help but thrust back into him. But it wasn't enough. She wanted more. She turned her body forwards into the mattress slightly and, as Rafael followed, she shifted her legs – opening them so that his erection would fall between them and graze the spot that ached to be touched.

Breath shuddered out of her at the contact, and she continued pushing back against him. Her hand travelled to his upper thigh, clutching frantically, taking as much pleasure from him as he was from her. When his hand snaked up inside her top, cupping her breast and pinching her nipple, she barely managed to keep the groan from her throat. The pleasure of their bodies moving against each other was overwhelming, even through his shorts and her panties. She knew she should be embarrassed or ashamed but right now, she couldn't quite bring herself to care. All she could think about was the pleasure she was experiencing and the coil of desire tightening in her.

It didn't take long for them both to snap. Just a few more thrusts and she came, biting her lip to muffle her cries of pleasure. Rafael wasn't far behind. As the thunder rumbled outside – closer now – his knees snapped straight, his hips stilled and pressed hard against her. He gave a small, sleepy whisper against her hair.

"Liv."

They lay there breathing heavily and slowly floating back to their senses, the natural lethargy of their release taking over. After a few moments, Rafael froze. Even his breath stopped fluttering the hair on Olivia's neck.

"Fuck," he whispered. "Fuck."

Olivia's heart was pounding, but she tried to keep her breathing steady. He was clearly awake, but she wasn't sure if she wanted him to know that she was – and had been for their whole encounter. If he did everything would change.

As he let go of her waist and rolled away from her, Olivia felt the loss of his heat as if she'd been doused in icy water. He was on his back now, next to her but not touching her. She missed the feel of his body against hers and wondered how she'd ever sleep without it again.

"Shit. Shit. Shit." He whispered, berating himself, whilst at the same time trying to ignore the sticky mess currently seeping into the fabric of his boxers. What the hell had he done? He worked sex-crimes for God's sake, and he'd just assaulted his sleeping colleague. He closed his eyes as he tried to get his head around what had just happened. He'd been enjoying a rather erotic dream about her – something that was starting to become a rather embarrassing habit recently, although never with her in such close proximity. By the time he woke up and realised what he was doing, that he was actually acting on his dream, he was too far gone to think about it.

Hearing his curses and being able to take an educated guess at what he was thinking right then, Olivia knew she had to admit to being awake and being a willing participant in the events that had just occurred. She couldn't – wouldn't – have him blaming himself and thinking he'd taken advantage of her. Or worse.

She rolled towards him and draped her arm across his chest. Her leg entangled with his and her face buried in his neck. She pressed her lips to the delicious-looking spot right below his ear. He let out a long, shaky breath. Encouraged, she kissed him there again, flicking the spot with her tongue. That earned her a tiny little moan, his skin still sensitive after his climax.

"L-Liv?" he whispered, raggedly. He'd been about to move; slip out of bed to the bathroom to clean up, when she shifted positions. He wasn't sure if she was awake, or whether acting on her own dreams. He didn't know which he'd rather. If she was asleep, she might not remember, but that would only add to his guilt. If she was awake, well… this could be the end of their professional relationship, their friendship… everything.

"Ssh. It's okay."

The muscles in his shoulders and neck tensed at the knowledge she was awake. He shook his head. "How can it be okay? I just…"

Olivia pushed herself up on her elbow to look at him, but he snapped his eyes closed and turned away, embarrassed and full of guilt. She lifted her hand to his cheek, stroking it gently.

"Look at me, Rafael." She kept her voice low but asserted a gentle pressure on his cheek to get him to turn back to face her. When he finally opened his eyes and met her gaze in the dim light of the room, she continued. "I know what you're thinking right now, and you're wrong. You didn't take advantage of me, you didn't assault me. I was awake the whole time. I wanted it. I wanted you."

"I… you did?" He struggled to find a response, his gaze flicking from her eyes to her lips and back.

"Yes." She kissed him lightly on the mouth. Their first kiss. His lips were softer than she'd imagined. "And I still do."

Olivia felt his astonishment. And his hesitation. Outside, lightning flashed, illuminating the room and in that instant, Rafael saw the honesty and love in Olivia's eyes. His feelings of uncertainty and amazement quickly gave way to quiet acceptance and his hand swept a smooth path from her shoulder down to the curve of her waist, where it came to rest – warm, heavy and reassuring.

"I'm sorry."

She lay her head back down on the pillow, facing him. "You don't need to apologise, Rafa. I told you, I was more than willing."

He reached across and smoothed her hair away from her face. "I know. I'm sorry our first… encounter was so…" he swallowed, looking for the right word, "ambiguous."

"It may have been… a _mbiguous_ ," she smiled at his description, "but it was still good." She hadn't had an orgasm that intense in a long time and they hadn't even had intercourse!

"It was more than good." He nuzzled his face against hers, needing the closeness. "But I hope I get another chance because I can do far, _far_ better."

Olivia felt his stubble against her cheek and smiled, relieved at his humour. "You can?" she asked, pulling back slightly to raise an eyebrow at him. With the way she felt at this moment, she couldn't imagine it being any better, but she would definitely enjoy trying.

He nodded, a small smirk forming as his fingers traced gentle patterns on the bare skin of her thigh. "Oh yes."

She mirrored his smirk. "You'll get no objections from me, counsellor."

Rafael initiated the kiss this time. She responded greedily, stroking his tongue with hers, nibbling on his lower lip. His fingers entwined in her hair as he deepened the kiss.

After a few minutes, he pulled away, breaking their kiss momentarily. He ran his thumb over her lips. "I'm in love with you, you know," he said looking at her steadily.

Her face broke into a smile. "I know. Me too," she breathed and pulled him to her, their lips crashing together once more.


End file.
